" Kaun Kehnda e k duniya vicchon Rabb gya.... Menu NAINA vicchon tere labhh gya .. " :) :)

I was thinking about SHIVANI only. She had made a special place in our first conversation. I could still recall the complete scene. She was looking gorgeous. SHIVANI … Shivani...Shivani… I wanted to talk to her that night. Talk about anything. I wanted to know her. I wanted to share everything thing with her that night. She had totally made me crazy. I wished to wake up earlier to see her as she had the first speech of the day. I went back to the room. I put up earphones and played the song and like my habit, I played the best that suits the situation and started humming in my mind..

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking
I am waiting as the time goes by
I think of you with every breath I take
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine
You're all I see in everything
I just wanna hold you
I just wanna kiss you
I just wanna love you all my life
I normally wouldn't say this but I just can't contain it
I want you here forever right here by my side…’

I was in bed looking up towards the roof and still thinking continuously about her. Gosh!! I check my phone to check the time. It was 5:30 am already.  I woke up and went to take a bath. I got ready at around 6:15 am and had nothing to do as such. I decided to go for a walk. While everyone was still asleep, I silently left the house and was on the road near to home to give time to myself to think...
I saw her just a week back and today, I 
couldn't stop thinking about her. How time changes!!
Love had something special that stays with it always.The sun was rising up and stars were dimming out, but my universe remained the same, I was glad that I met her and finally had a chance to talk with her. No idea, if she was feeling anything or I was just another friend to her. It was a fresh start of a friendship which I wanted to take to a different level. One thing that was stopping me was what if she had some guy in her life? What if she was committed? What if she won’t like me? Millions of thoughts ran across my mind and one answer that I got, ‘Common Bro... Get to know her first’. Sometimes, we have to listen to our mind rather than heart. It was tough, though I accepted it. I played a song and sat nearby some farms which had yellow little flowers blossoming with dew,
‘O re manva tu to baawra hai...tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai baawre… Kyun dikhaye sapne tu. Sote-jaagte... Jo barse sapne boond boond, naino ko moond moond...kaise mein kahun...dekh ana sakun...anjaane raaste... Goonja sa hai koi Iktaaara...’
Sometimes, songs say everything how we feel..... I met a girl, with laughter in her eyes, and in a single moment, my world confused. The kind of girl, that once-in-a-lifetime. And all I had to offer was me-Myself. Just to tell her once, that 'You are beautiful'.
Something happened to me after meeting her. My sleeps flew away from eyes. I felt restless. Why is so beautiful? Correct me if I am wrong, she is as charming as a full moon. She looked like flowers when she smiles and the redness of your cheeks during it, is priceless. My eyes, always awaited her. I missed her. My senses were becoming unaware without her. I was recalling the time we spent together. And then, being a small town boy, I started imaging a lot. Someday, I will land up staying with her. I will wake up and would smile when she will wake up. I want to brush her hair with my fingers. I would have everything that day. We will go out in a car, somewhere she would want to. She would lean over my shoulder and would share her story. Slowly and steadily, all pieces of love will get connected someday. I may cry someday but I would have a belief that she would be with me. I want to grow old with her. I want to look myself in her eyes, all the time. Today, my eyes were opening, which remained wet for over time. Someday, the shine over the faded mirrors will come back. We would paint our lives with mixture of colours... Whenever I would get time, I would love myself for loving her in this way. The more I will love her, I would feel it lesser....
                 " Kaun Kehnda e k duniya vicchon Rabb gya.... Menu NAINA vicchon tere labhh gya .. " :) :)
 Oh God, The love is different feeling. I feel You are somewhere in it. I want to spend my life in her shadow. The shadow of love, the shadow of care and affection. Thank YOU, I have met her whom you have made – the one for me....

The chapter of first kiss...

I took out my pen from pocket and started writing a letter cum poem, which I had written long ago and had planned to give it to someone very special to me, on the only tissue I found on that table.

I don’t worry about the dark; I know the sun is mine.

To bring me into light,

I know that it will shine. I know you are my sun.

I don’t worry about the sadness,

I know the rains will fall. To wash away all my tears,

they will come on my every call.

I know you are my rain,

I don’t worry about the world, because I fully believe in you. 

And whatever happens around,

This is how i shall always be yours forever.......

You are my world....

It is rightly said; when you are in love, you feel everything on this earth is yours and you can conquer this whole world with your love, true love.
I stood up and went straight to her folding my love for her in my hands so that she couldn’t see it. I sat beside her this time again taking her hands into mine, feeling the warmth of her love through her veins. We kept looking deep into each other’s eyes for a minute or so and then she then broke the silence, “kya dekh rhe ho?”

I smilingly replied, “I have rights to see you for my whole life now!” and passed her the folded tissue in my hand. She smiled and added, “I wish they remain copyright for me only!” and she started opening it…

I kept staring her, smiling and observed her too closely (Wish I had some magical eyes; you know what I mean) while she was concentrating on the paper. And all of a sudden, she broke into tears which were unexpected. I couldn’t bear that.

I stood up to hug her while she was still crying. I was trying to console her with my love and words; though I was much weak in that, but I tried my level best.

She then said with her childish voice, “Saksham, I am feeling lucky to have you in my life. I never expected that you will win my heart like this. You are so much caring and loving. I feel like kissing you but the atmosphere around here doesn’t allow me to do that. Let’s move out somewhere else please.”

And how could I refuse her, after all I was expecting a kiss from my girl on my first date?

We picked up our bags and went to school ground, hand in hand and sat under the same tree where we used to spend hours.

I kept my head on her lapse and started feeling anxious, obviously. Everything seemed to be very special for that particular second.
First girlfriend, first date, first kiss….. #PRICELESS feeling !!
Rest remains the mystery !

Love, Life & Internet.

We love, from miles away... We talk. We share. We chat. We loved to see each other, often through video chats. We used to make cute faces and often tease each other. We talked for long, whole nights. None of us was aware when the sun rose up. We slept in mornings, often. Our love was set as an example to others. We talked about our day schedule, sometimes about studies, many times about ourselves and often, love making. We were taking care from miles. There was a power of love that was keeping us together.. I remember, how it started with and random friend request, to ‘friends’, and to ‘best friends’, and then, with our understanding, we didn’t need to share our feelings.

Her lustrous lips, her untidy glossy hairs and her shining tiny eyes; those looked more charming while talking on webcam. She looked cute.

One day, we were talking like another day, in our most romantic ways. She looked sad. I asked her many a times, she didn’t reply. There was something that was cooking up in her mind, millions of miles away from here. She wasn’t sharing. I tried every of the best possible way to please her. Suddenly, I came across an idea. It was tough to plan and leave her alone in such a time. But I had to do it. And I decided to leave her alone for next 10 minutes.

I managed everything in next eight minutes. It was time to go back online. I turned on my laptop, sat and kept everything exactly where it was required to be.

She was crying almost when I heard her voice. I asked her many times. And finally, she told. She was crying because of the long distances between us. She wanted to meet me. She wanted to hug me. She wanted to come in my arms. It was enough to show her love. I cheered her up somehow, and asked her to turn on her camera. Her eyes were shining. She told me to turn on my camera.

As soon as my picture popped at her screen, she jumped up with an excitement. She was amazed to see the scene. After all, it was her boyfriend’s surprise. It was a totally different scenario from each day. I had kept a few beautiful candles; few floating in the water and a few shining in the wooden showcase behind me.  She loved and it totally changed her mood. She felt like a princess. She loved it, totally. She told me she had never seen such a beautiful surprise in her life, ever. We talked whole night and made little love.

That night, that was the most romantic night in her and my life. I cherished every single moment spent that night. :)

The SMS conversation !!

‘Hey’,  I texted her at 8:30 pm.

‘Message Sent Successfully’ - The screen displayed.

A shiver of chill ran down my body, as I didn’t plan to share this with anyone..... I was not tensed, but was thinking,  how my girl would react on my decision...

‘Delivered to - ’- TANIYA beeped my NOKIA X2 phone.

I checked my phone at least for couple of times in every 30 seconds. No replies.

I waited and thought about millions of possibilities that could be the reasons for not replying. Had she read message ? Was she busy ? Hope, her mom has not seen the phone....  I went to balcony, I went to roof, and I went to street - so that I could get the best of the network.... But, none worked.  ‘She is my girlfriend... DAMIT !!’ roared my mind every time I checked my phone. 

It was 9:45 pm and I didn’t get any of her reply. A thought of calling her passed across my mind. Checking the time, it was impossible to call her so as to keep her out of any kind of trouble. I looked up in the sky and wished !!!! It was my day or maybe, it was by God’s grace that night, my phone beeped at 9:57 pm. It was her.

‘Hi.. Sry 2 reply late. I was bsy.’

As her boyfriend, I could never stop myself sending her an instant reply. I love her !!

‘Hey. It’s Ok. Hope u r done with uah dinner ?’

‘Yea…ssup ur side?’

‘Nothing much..... Jst ended up wtchng TV. So, Wot r u doin?’

‘Same here... Tired. Off 2 bed’

‘Oh. So u mst b sleepy ?? No probs... Good nite baby, Love you :) :)

‘No, no prob at ol. I can talk... You say, wht r u doin?’

‘I was actually planning smthng.’

‘Say na..,?’

‘Baby.. I was wondering, that I shud write a book.. I donn knw how it came to my mind, but, I want to…’

‘That’s a brilliant idea sweet heart ! J

You are a brilliant writer... U write so well and naughty at times. Loved your idea baby ...

Go for it, I m wid u.’

‘Thank you. But I doNt knw hww to start. How to do it.’

‘Just start up, I am with you. U will do it, I kNow. GO FOR IT . JUST DO IT :* ’

‘Thank u baby. Love you J ’

‘Acha , I m sleepy abi.. and relax. Your babu is wid u , we will do it. Love you. Good night. Miss you J ’

‘Good nyt. Love you 2 ’

Putting my head on the pillow, I decided , I will write one day and I am sure, you will be  reading it  :) :)

Her beauty is the synonym of gorgeousness !

The moment she falls asleep, I can’t resist myself to lay down next to her…
I wanted to spend my entire life gazing at her beautiful kissing eyebrows , the pink lustrous lips, her glossy hairs. Her beauty is the synonym of gorgeousness…
Her cutest expressions while she sleeps, her hands; resting around my waist & She, too close, yet inside my heart.

I wanted to stop the time on that very moment. I felt so complete rewinding every single picture from how we started. And I paused the scene, where she had already slept , right in front of me.
We had a  passionate love-making session that night. She was amazing !

I smiled, and kissed her forehead. She opened her eyes and smiles. We kissed and hugged.
We slept.

As I run my fingers through her hairs and kiss her forehead, she wakes up with a smile holding me
in her arms saying, “I love You, Never leave me alone"...

Coming back alone......

WaLkiNg alone is not difficult...But after haviNg " Walked a mile with someone "
"ComiNg back alone" is more difficult ..
It is the feeling of being rejected .
It is the feeling of beiNg betrayed .

You imagine another world with them, where you see yourself with them, always. Atleast my heart feels, ' There had beeN a problem with me only . '
We ourselves become the real culprit ultimately by cursing ourseves... The truth is, when you live with the same words, ' SoRRy.. We caN't stay together.. We have to stop it..' Surrender you all the time, NOBODY, yes, NOBODY on this planet is affected.... Colours shine, Sun rises & the Stars 'TWINKLE.' ONe thing happens for sure - You forget to laugh and live the life...

I hate being nice and true and still being betrayed. I hate beiNg simple and trust worthy and still listeing to your lies as truths. I hate beiNg caring and still expecting from you, who had absolutley nothing inside their heart to actualy care about me....
I sacrifised myself for her, and she left telling her helplessness....
My life is swinging in a storm.
Clouds are thuNderRng, WiNds are blowing fast.
In my own eyes, I am seraching for an edge.
I miss hearing her voice, I miss seeing her smiling, but most of all I miss her!
I kNow, she will remember me , wheN someone will leave her...
Wish, There was someone to listen depressed stories of my sad heart......
~ Now, I will have to live like this, I smile, when I think like that.

Have you ever got that feeling ?

Hey, have you eveR got that feeling wheRe you just waNt to talk to someone . Not just someone you kNow, someone you want to ? With whoom, you caN be able to talk about aNythiNg and everythiNg because you’re oN the same page with thiNgs. WheRe you caN Look at someoNe and waNt to talk to them because they’re Not rude, or superficial, or aNnoying, or immature, or old, or young….. SomeoNe you are just an equal to ; yet Not have to be a LOVER . SomeoNe you could sit with for houRs and just chat , observe, and shaRe comfort iN the fact that you two caN just connect wheN it comes to the topic of CoNveRsatioN .

Have you ever got that feeling wheRe you just waNt someoNe to take the time to uNdeRstaNd you foh you - who you are aNd eveRything with it. SomeoNe to undeRstand iN the right way, not invade uah privacy but uNdeRstaNd Naturally. WheRe you waNt someone to see you foh you - Not the image that they have imagined up in theiR brain of you. WheRe someone could just Look iNto your eyes, iNto your soul, into your heart and just undeRstaNd what is theRe, theN be able to act accordingly . SoMeoNe who caN UNdeRstaNd your burdens, uah reasoning, uah actions without biased judgement .

I Suppose a Lot people, who is ReadiNg this especialy, caN feel this way a lot.... I call it not the best way, atleast a cute one , to LOVE :) :)

Who are you ??

ARe you a dream , or some Reality..
Who are you, tell me?
Why are u standing away, come near to me..


My heart beats Felt your steps, 
I FiNd you on every corner of my life , 
but you walk away, thrashing me in pieces, 
My heart jumps out, plz save me in your arms...

CoMe, Lets create a new world of love - WheRe you and me reside - FoRevaa !!

She is so damn beautiful :)

She Looked at me and it was as if God himself plucked the stars from the skies.... ANd placed them in heR eyes..... ANd I Realized I could get lost in heR.  IN the sheer force of her being, My FiNgertips tracing wiNding paths over her familiar skin as if it were uNkNown territory. I Realized I would like Nothing more thaN to string together the planets and drape them around heR Neck....


She is so damn BEAUTIFUL. She could be my universe !!


~ from " SWEETLY BROKEN - everytime i see you !! "

SileNce is Not SadNess !!

SoMetimes, silence doesN't mean sadness... Silence means that someoNe is threading some new thought , idea or a plan. And for most of the times, these plans and ideas are really tough to make up that we start reacting weared many a times.... But oNce they are being decided, life doesN't take time to change after ! I was today listening to a song whose lyrics goes like - "ANdhere kahin jamm na jayen, Ujaale baant lo !"  (Before the daRkNess stick along, share the lights )...... The lyrics had a beautiful meaning that says if their some sadness, before it grows, share the same with anyone, let it be your friend, parents, brother or a sister..... You two can then share a solution, the light, soon ! But if you Not sad, do Not act like one !! - this sucks if you feel you can live in society gaining the sympathy of the people. If something fishy is cooking in uah mind, go ahead and let it cook !!!

 Maybe its going to affect SoMeoNe's Life or yours !?!

WoRLd's best FeeLiNg :)

Sometimes, it happens that you want the world to be on one side and you wish to be in your own WoRLd...

This is the most wonderful time of the life when you take the life-changing decisions. You sometimes cherish the old memories; the sweetest of all & then, only one thought strucks into your mind while going through them !!

You just stop thinking about your own world at that momemt, and at that very moment, you realise, what was the importance of it in your life. Sometime, you feel guilt about the same. 

Maybe (A stronger one) , you never wanted it to go it like that way!
Then , you wish only one thing, to go back and change the things like the way you want it now..

The time passes, but you never realise it ~ this is probably the best feeling you can get!!

Now, just go to the top of this post, Cherish the best of your life; your love ,your life, your friends,your family & you - the yourself ! 

Enjoy the Feeling...... :P : )

I Can Crush Curves With Your Smile

With the beauty of your smile,

My Heart runs mile after mile,


Step by step you're swelling my isle,


Let's walk together and make our journey worthwile,














~ Life's NothiNg but a sinusoidal line flowing moment by moment ; curve by curve .But when you have a lovable soul standing beside you, there's a power in yourself to crush those curves....


************                                                                                               ***********




Sun seems Brighter and waves of feelings switches me in parts as I make someone special smile from the core of their heart... Go on, make an effort for there's not a feeling as great as making this art .... :) :)

I'm LoNg GoNe....

I do Not wish to biNd you,
if you doN't wish to be bouNd,ANd if you FiNd you Need me, you kNow wheRe I'll be FouNd,
SomewheRe iN your dreaming, I will wait without a SouNd !


I haveN't asked foh aNythiNg, I've given all I have freely,
Seems that wasN't enough for you, and foh that I am SoRRy,
You've come and gone so often, I thiNk it's time for you to see !

LoviNg is a two way street, and so I caN't be holding oN,
So Next time you come kNockiNg Baby, you'll find that I'm LoNg GoNe.........

ONe day, that EveNiNg ! :) :)

That EveNiNg, AN ANgeL took me to the heaveN . At that PaRticular MoMeNt, I felt, God himself has fallen iNto Love with two of us. He made this day exclusively foh two of us.

The heaveN Looked like a garden wheRe the fouNtaiNs, beautifully decoRated with Lights, the TRees;  each staNdiNg for some purpose, and the FLoweRs and the most special flower; all were in front of my eyes.

I PReseNted a small token of love to thank her for coming.

We walked aNd talked. We shaRed . We staRed into each other’s eyes with Love for hours. Her shining eyes presented a charm of love. I felt so proud and confident in her company. I read her a few lines which I wrote especially for her.

We stood by oNe of the fouNtaiNs wheRe Small dRopLets of wateR , PRobably, it was Nectar, that touched ouR Faces so softly as if a flying bird waNted to say something to us. Few dRops settled upoN heR eyelashes, and that very moment, I saw her and was completely lost in her. I didn’t listen anything and read it from her eyes, that she wanted me to always stand with her, not matter what!

I went closer to her, & to ensure her that I will be for her always, I gave her a hug. She SmiLed. Ahhh… She took away my heart with that !

We started walking again and I didn't know when we were inside the dark woods. She then, slowly filled the spaces between my fingers with hers. She completed my world with that !

I Looked at heR & She SLowLy made heR wet EyeLashes kiss each other , UNdoubtedly with the most RoMaNtic way, AssuRiNg me that she is with me, always !

We talked about our lives we want to share with each other . Knowingly or Unknowingly,  I felt her heartbeats. I kept looking at heR while she was talking. I Loved the ways she said me eveRything. That second, I felt , all the happiNess is Right now, staNding in FRoNt of me !

I waNted to kiss her at that very second. I waNted to show my love for her. I held her hands, and keep another finger on her mouth , “ Shhhh….” And coNtiNued, “ I LOVE YOU…!”

She felt shy and so INNoceNtly she CLosed heR eyes.

“This is what makes me love you more..”

We theN, ReLived the MoMeNts, FRoM wheRe we StaRted. I Looked up towaRds the sky, thaNking HIM, foh heR.

~ 'MeMoRies' - the ONLy Gift, She PReseNted to Me !
.....What so eveR happeNed LateR, but oNe thiNg I still feel , those days weRe Good !
' ReaL MaN NeveR stops TRyiNg to show a GiRL how much she MeaNs to him, EveN AfteR he get heR & ReaL WoMeN shouLd be the oNe who wouLd Respect these FeeLiNgs..!! :) :)

CaLL a GiRL BeautifuL oNLy wheN.....

#Read at your owN Risk !

Yes, EveRy GiRL is beautiful!!

 But heR beauty caN't be SeeN by how ShoRt heR dRess gets, or by the loads of make up she puts on wheN she goes to meet him. Oh man, why am I getting off-track ?

A sexy ass and heavy lollipops(You kNow what I mean); that’s all, a boy’s eye search out all the day and all the time...

But yes, you call a GiRL beautiful only wheN she puts that PeRfect Smile eveN if she has an IMpeRfect Life :) :)

FRaNkly telling ...

"Let me be very FRaNk with you..."
"Whatever I waNt to tell to the people, I tell on them oN their face....."


~These are the lines you listen everyday !
But the bitter truth is, none of these so called 'FRaNk PeopLe' accept the FRaNkNess of others, wheN directed towards them. When it is from them, it is the WoRLd CLass advice, and wheN it is for them, they called it as ARRogaNce.
WheN the facts are expressed FRANKLY, they are difficult to accept. So how caN others accept our FRaNkness, which is Nothing, but just our opinion.
FRANKNESS is Not at all a problem, its just the way our FRaNkness is delivered, that is the PRoBLeM....

Our FRaNkNess, Maybe (StRoNg MAYBE) have some logic behiNd it, but the way it is delivered to the people often huRts...
WheNever you are huNted by arrow, will u ever sit and think what thing or raw material is used to make it ? Ask this to yourself, and obviously, the answer comes out to be NO !!!
You will SuReLy RuN to take a ReveNge back !!
The same way,FRaNkNess, iN terms of woRds, huRts!!
We too Little care for there MeaNiNgs, we NeveR Realize what those were meant to convey !!


So, Its Not only about how you cook, it also MatteRs how you serve !
So, only for components of communications matter :

What you say

How you say

WheN you say

WheN you stop....

Now, Frankly telling, 
Only a good communication will make your ReLatioN StRoNgeR.. !! :) :)

Here I stand, all alone !

HeRe I StaNd, all alone, FLashing back all the memories that lie somewhere in deep corners of my heart. Peeling the layer one by one and looking them, smiling and sometimes blushing. How was I long back ago ?
All the thiNgs that I came across, Each individual I have met, Every song I have heard, Every place where I visited... I don't remember everybody's name, but yes, I know, You are the reason for me, where I am standing right now.
Its beeN 18+ years of my life, but what Life means, I learnt it today- Its about being to yourself only !
WheN you are concerned about others, Its just, you are killing your own time.

All the mistakes I did in past, I have compiled them all , and given them a name called 'Experience'.
Today, I realized it once again, being truthful is the best option for everything; at least you don't make up your own theories later. Be the one you are, You will earn the true respect !
ThaNk you all, the one who had been a part of my life, made me realize what actually things are and how to live with and without them !
I have met people, who wished, prayed and cared for me always. And they, only they are my strengths.
Almost everybody taught me the lesson of patience,  which makes me stand out of the noise of crowd.

Today, SomeoNe asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
I said, "No, I had one long back".
"What happeNed?"
"Well, Life move on, and it waits for none ! She was my life, and she ......", I ended up smiling.

All the words I wrote earlier, were just for her, But they say, "UNTOLD SACRIFICES ARE NEVER BEING VALUED."

Then, someone today offered me something that I don't deserve ~ God is controlling everything !!!

I am right now watching up in the sky, looking at HIM and bowing my all thanks(I can feel Him up there) !
'God, ThaNk you for being with me , always, in my bad and the good times.'

Sacrificing, for the one you always wanted to be happy :)

When someone is happy with your sacrifices, that is not a sacrifice...Its something, something that even if the God comes down, HE will salute you ! 

Its how the way you sacrifice and the one whom you sacrifice for.

And the other part, the one who sacrifices. 

Sometimes, You just have to be the one who is happy, probably, just for the other person's smile :)

You have to be good to them, no matter what !

If you will do good to them, God will do good to you both :)

Live life, Like it was always theirs ! :)
(Written for the one, the one who was my inspiration once)

How did we break up ?

“Are you sure?” He whispered low. “Absolutely positive you want to go?”
She nodded and took a breath deep, looked him in eye and then did speak
“Yes, I will leave, it is decided. I’m sure, in this my heart is undivided.”
“Will you give up all that we had" He asked? Throwing it away,"the good with the bad?”
She sighed low and long, took a moment to think so it would not come out wrong,

“Yes, I will bid goodbye to it all, the good, the bad, the big, the small. For there is much of wrong and not enough of right, no more kisses, endless fights. So before our hearts break further more, hate grows and each others sight we hate. It is in your interest and mine, that I walk, head held high . Before regret, wounds turn vile and start to seep, the disease of dishonor spreads too far, and doors to happiness it does bar, I will exit with dignity"
Tears rolled down his face and her’s followed suit, for endless moments they stood mute, right there,
Together as one they then turned, slowly surely all bridges burned.
Opposite paths they did take, fading imprints their footsteps did make soon even those too vanished, as easily as the love they banished...